How the West was fun - Day seven

She walked into the smoky room in high heels moving and swinging her hips suggestively. ​​​She carried a tray loaded with whiskey on the rocks, a gin and tonic, and a shot of rum. Elegantly she walked towards the table in the back corner where there sat a lavishly dressed figure surrounded by nervious men playing cards. Setting the drinks down in front of the central figure she waited nervously.

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Lady Gaga reached down and took the drinks the cocktail waitress had just set in front of her and slammed them one by one. She took a long drag of her cigar, set it in the ashtray, and blew smoke rings at the nervous waitress. 

Gaga gave the waitress a solid smack across the ass and said "Now get a round of whiskey for the whole table."

The startled women took the empty glasses and went quickly to comply. She didn't want to make the most famous gun this side of the Mississippi mad. Lady Gaga, the legendary gunfighter, gambler, and lover was in a good mood today, and everyone wanted to keep it that way.

Just then a ragged man walked into the room, through the swinging doors, in tattered dusty clothing. The dusty kerchief on his face bespoke a man who had been ridding hard through one of the worst dust storms of the decade. He fired a shot into the ceiling from his sawed off shotgun. There was a deafening roar and then everything stopped.


Lady Gaga looked up and raised one eyebrow.


"I'm looking for the women who shot my paw!" be bellowed looking at Lady Gaga.


Lady Gaga took a long drag on her cigar and spoke up, "I shot a lotta fella's paws, yer gonna need to describe him."


"In Reno three days ago, you shot him over a bad hand of cards." The man pointed the gun at Gaga.


"It couldn't have been me," Lady Gaga began in a sultry voice, "Because three days ago I was in Austin, how shall we say, All tied up!" she finished putting emphases on the all tied up in a way indicating that she didn't exactly mind it.


"Excuse me, but I'm the man who shot that no good son'of'bitch!" the tension mounted as a voice called out from the other side of the room.


A tall man dressed exactly like Lady Gaga stood up in the corner.


"Just who are you?" The ragged man asked.


"I'm her drag queen! The man said with particular pride.


"I got just one question fer ya," the shotgun wielding man began "Why'd ya do it?"


"Lovers quarrel," came a curt reply.


"Well the explains so many strange memories," the mad man replied introspectively.


He walked over to the bar, set down his gun, and ordered three shots of whiskey.


"Hey toots," Lady Gaga shouted out, "Where the hell is that whiskey already?!"


The bar thundered back to life. Just another night for Gaga out on the town.